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  ‘Bingo, Einstein.’

  Eva breathed heavily and took a moment to pull herself together.

  ‘And why would you want to help me?’

  ‘Don’t flatter yourself. It’s not you I want to help. But as much as I hate you doesn’t even come close to how much I love Julian. And you’re the only person who can make him see sense. I don’t have any other choice. They’re not asking Julian to be a donor, Eva. He’s not dead…yet. So get your head out of your arse. Julian’s not a donor. He’s a recipient. He needs a new kidney. Or he would be a recipient, if he’d just fucking consider it.’

  Eva didn’t say anything. She was so far past words. She grabbed the pills off the counter, shoved them in her mouth, and washed them down with the water.

  Mia smiled.

  ‘Thank you,’ Eva said, her words stretching much further than appreciation for some over-the-counter medication.

  Chapter 14

  ‘Is she gone?’ Julian asked, leaning over the banister of the stairs on the landing. He was comfortable for the first time in days in loose, dark navy jeans and a white V-neck t-shirt. His hair was tossed and messy like he’d just woken up.

  ‘Yes.’ Mia gargled and stormed back into the kitchen.

  He sighed and made his way downstairs to follow her. ‘You’re not going to tell me you’re actually pissed off, are you?’

  ‘Yes, Julian. I’m pissed off.’ Mia flicked on the kettle. ‘I think what you’re doing to Eva is terrible.’

  Julian pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat down, laughing. ‘You’ve changed your tune. You were the one who had her banished from the hospital, remember?’

  ‘I didn’t know the whole story, did I? I thought she was in cahoots with Nathan.’

  Julian rubbed his hands roughly up and down his face. ‘Nathan Shields is a fool. He’s a sorry ass excuse for a reporter. If he prints one word, I’ll sue the arse off him for slander. He knows that he was in way over his head. He was scared shitless at Vertigo. I don’t think he’ll be rushing to do another undercover piece for a very long time.’

  Mia laughed. ‘Well, he certainly wasn’t expecting the Da Lucas to be such a colourful bunch, I suppose.’

  Julian cocked an eyebrow. ‘Colourful is one word for them.’

  Mia placed a cup of hot coffee on the table in front of Julian. ‘Here. You look like you need this.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Julian wrapped his hands around the hot cup. ‘I know that I’m asking a lot of you, Mia. But I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think you were the best person for the job.’

  ‘I’m just worried I’ll fuck up,’ Mia said walking back over to the countertop.

  ‘No, you’re not. You can do business acquisitions in your sleep. You’re worried I’ll be six feet under by the time the job is done and you get back from New York,’ Julian said before raising the cup of coffee to his lips.

  Mia made another cup of coffee and carried it over to the table to sit beside him. ‘Julian, don’t talk like that, please. It scares me.’

  ‘Mia, I want everything the Da Lucas own in my name by the end of the week. I don’t care how much it costs. I want to buy up their whole empire. Mickey Da Luca is going to know what it feels like to lose.’

  ‘I know you’re angry, Julian. But I wish you’d use your energy to get better, instead of this…this…revenge plot thing.’

  ‘It’s not revenge, Mia. It’s just good business. The state has frozen Da Luca’s assets, understandably, since every dollar was blood and drug money. I’ll get a good price on it all. I’m hoping that buying out the lot won’t be more complicated than necessary. I don’t doubt there’ll be some legal mumbo jumbo and some red tape that’ll need cutting, but I know you can sort that shit with a click of your brilliant fingers.’

  ‘And then what? You’re going to go into the pimping business.’

  Julian took a mouthful of coffee and pulled a face. ‘Fuck. That’s disgusting.’

  Julian meant the coffee not Mia’s business suggestion, but he laughed knowing his remark could be taken both ways.

  Mia laughed in spite of the tension. ‘Julian, seriously. What are you going to do with Da Luca’s properties? Are you expanding Ignite Tech in the states? You already have an investment in HTK over there; won’t this be a clash of interests?’

  Julian smiled. Mia was such a good businesswoman; he had every confidence she could teach Eva everything she would need to know. ‘This has nothing to do with expansion. I fancy a new venture. The Andrews Charity. It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?’ Julian said, grinning.

  ‘What?’ Mia’s whole face scrunched.

  ‘I’ll make sure it’s all official and signed on the dotted line in time. Everything will be in Eva’s name. It’ll all belong to her. She can learn on the job. You can help, of course. In fact, I’m counting on you to.’

  ‘Help with what? Julian, I’m not following.’

  ‘The Andrews Charity will be a reform house for ex-prostitutes. Give them somewhere safe to live while they get their shit together. There’ll be counsellors on site, and in time, Eva can look into education programmes and anything else relevant and beneficial.’

  ‘Wow, I didn’t see that coming,’ Mia said, putting down her coffee cup.

  ‘Melissa Andrews is fucked in the head. She’s going to need a hell of a lot of support. Eva needs to be there for her family. This gives her the perfect starting ground. Eva knows what it’s like to live through hell. She’s just like us, Mia. But we changed. We became tough and guarded. She never changed. She’s a marshmallow inside and out. She’s a bloody good person and she’s the best person for the job…she’s the only person. She’ll do a lot of good there.’

  ‘There? As in back in America.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘But you’re crazy about her. What are you doing? Why in the hell are you pushing her away? Now, of all times?’ Mia asked, almost whispering

  ‘Because, if she finds out how sick I am, she won’t go. She’ll want to stay here and try to fix me.’

  ‘Is that such a bad thing? She loves you. Why won’t you let yourself be loved? Stop always punishing yourself.’ Mia’s whispering quickly changed to close to shouting.

  ‘I know she loves me. She’ll put me first and I can’t let her do that. She needs this time to repair the damage to her family. She needs to be with her mother and sister.’

  ‘She needs to be with you. Jesus, Julian, you’re dying.’

  ‘Mia…’ Julian said her name like it left a bad taste in his mouth and his eyes pinched and darkened. ‘Eva doesn’t need to know that. Maybe not ever.’

  ‘So you’re just going to break her heart and let her think you don’t care about her.’

  ‘If that’s the best way to make sure that she will be okay, then that’s exactly what I’m going to do.’

  ‘God, you have a fucked-up view on how to love someone, Julian.’

  Julian tossed his shoulders.

  ‘What are you afraid of, Julian? Are you afraid to be normal? Normal people get sick. If you just thought about the donor programme…’

  Julian slammed his hand on the table, shaking the coffee cups. ‘This isn’t open for discussion, Mia.’

  ‘Okay, fine. Forget the Eva thing for a moment. I know you want to fix her family. And I understand how important Cameron was to you. But what about me? I love you. Don’t I get a say?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Julian, that’s not fair. It’s too high a price. You don’t owe the Andrews your life.’

  ‘Actually, Mia, I do. Now, will you help me?’ Julian asked sombrely. ‘Will you help me or not?’

  ‘Of course, I’ll help you. God, you know that without even asking. I’m just worried about you.’

  ‘Well, don’t be,’ Julian said. ‘It won’t change anything and this will be fucking hard. You don’t need distractions.’

  ‘What about Eva?’ Mia asked.

  ‘What about her?’

  ‘You can�
�t just keep shutting her out like this. Christ, Julian. She’s not exactly my favourite person and even I wouldn’t treat her like that.’

  ‘She will know everything when the time is right.’

  ‘And, in the meantime, you’re afraid to let her in in case she sees you be what? Normal? Vulnerable? Needing her?’

  ‘I don’t need anyone.’ Julian soured, the legs of her chair scratching noisily across the floor as he pushed out from under the table.

  ‘Bollocks, Julian. You’ve just told me that you need me. You asked for my help. And every move you make tells me that you need her. Grow a pair, Julian, and tell her that. If you don’t, I will,’ Mia growled.

  ‘Eva knows I love her.’

  ‘Why? Because you told her? Cop on, Julian. Maybe she thinks you lied. You have to show her. Is that so hard for you?’

  ‘Yes.’ Julian dropped his head. ‘I love her, Mia. I never believed in that bullshit. I never thought you could care about someone so much that the thought of ever hurting them tore you apart inside. But that’s how I feel about Eva. I adore her. And I will do everything I possibly can to protect her from everything I possibly can.’

  ‘You’re going about this all wrong.’ Mia softened.

  ‘I don’t have any other choice. Everyone she’s ever loved or trusted has left her. And now I’m leaving her, too. I need her to walk away from me; I need it to be her choice. I can’t be responsible for fucking things up for her.’

  ‘But you’re not letting her walk away. You’re pushing her. That’s not giving her a choice. It’s the exact opposite. And it’s not fair,’ Mia argued gently.

  ‘It’s the only way I know how,’ Julian said, honestly.

  ‘Well, learn a new fucking way, Julian. Because if you love her as much as you say you do, then you owe it to her to explain everything and let her make an informed decision. And you owe it to yourself to LET HER IN.’

  Julian didn’t reply. He let Mia have her rant. He knew it was her way of coping.

  ‘You know, when Eva discovers what you’ve done, she’ll blame herself,’ Mia said after a brief silence.

  ‘Don’t use Eva as leverage, Mia.’ Julian shook his head, unimpressed.

  ‘I’m not. But it’s true, she will. You won’t get the treatment you need and you’re going to fucking die. And why? All because you’re hell-bent on repaying a debt from when you were a child. You were eight years old when Cameron saved you, Julian. You were just a little boy. He was a grown man. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life trying to make it up to him.’

  Julian could see Mia physically shaking as she spoke. This was hurting her; he felt a knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach. None of this was supposed to happen. Fuck the Da Lucas. Fuck them. Julian’s body was heavy and he needed sleep but pure hate fuelled him on.

  ‘Cameron is gone, Mia. He spent the last years of his life rotting in a prison cell because his head was so fucked up that he was a danger to himself and his family. He didn’t have to risk his life to save me from the fire. But he did.’ Julian paused and ran his hand roughly through his hair. ‘I visited him in New York, just before he died, you know.’

  Mia’s body language changed. Her feisty side paled for a moment and Julian knew she was prepared to listen now.

  ‘Cameron was full of remorse,’ Julian added.

  ‘Well, rightly so. He messed his whole family up. Eva’s a walking bloody disaster, and it’s that man’s fault. No good deed twenty years ago outweighs all that, Julian,’ Mia snarled.

  ‘And I’m not saying it does. I’m saying Cameron wanted his family protected and that’s my responsibility.’

  ‘Why?’ Mia shouted, losing all composure.

  ‘Because I damn well say so. Now, are you going to help me or not, Mia? I’m tired.’

  ‘And what if I say no? I can be just as obnoxious as you, you know.’ Mia stood up, flapping her arms.

  ‘No, you can’t.’ Julian laughed standing up to tower over her.

  ‘Okay fine, but I have conditions,’ Mia said, looking up at him with the saddest eyes Julian had seen in a long time.

  ‘And they are…’ Julian asked softening.

  ‘You have to go to see Eva. You can’t leave things like this.’

  ‘Mia!’ Julian growled.

  ‘I will help you, Julian. But promise me that you’ll consider going back to the hospital. I’m begging you to just hear them out. I don’t want to lose you. Please, just talk to Eva about it,’ Mia pleaded as the tears she’d done so well to hold in swelled in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

  ‘No, Mia. I’ve told you. That’s not going to happen.’ Julian shook his head and paced the floor.

  ‘Okay, then I’m not going to New York,’ Mia barked, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her blouse.

  ‘That’s blackmail, Mia. I don’t take kindly to that kind of shit, and you know it.’

  ‘No. It’s negotiation.’ Mia tossed her head to one side, confidently. ‘You’re the one who always taught me to fight for the best deal. Always push to win. Those were your exact words, weren’t they?’

  Julian gritted his back teeth. He recognised the expression, but he didn’t appreciate having it used to his disadvantage.

  ‘Your flight is booked for tonight. Do you need me to check in on Daniel?’ Julian said sternly.

  Julian knew that Mia was well aware that although they were best friends, he was still her boss. He very rarely exercised his right as her employer to end a conversation about a work related topic by simply raising his hand to signal a stop. So when he did, Mia knew not to push it any further.

  Mia sniffled. ‘Daniel is staying with a friend from school. They do sleepovers all the time so he shouldn’t suspect anything is weird. I’ll give the mother your mobile number. There shouldn’t be any problems, but just in case.’

  ‘Okay.’ Julian nodded. ‘It should only take you a couple of days to sort out. The legal guys know to expect you. Any problems and you call me straight away, okay? This has to go smoothly.’

  ‘Are you going to stay here while I’m gone?’ Mia gestured around the kitchen. ‘You can, it’s no problem…if you don’t want to go back to your place.’

  ‘No.’

  Mia’s head sank into her shoulders. ‘Are you going to tell me where you are going?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Am I ever going to see you again?’ Mia’s voice was breaking, and she was failing to keep her emotions under control.

  Julian leaned over Mia and kissed her on the forehead. ‘Anthony will be here in half an hour. You should pack. I’ll come to the airport with you to wave you off.’

  Mia left the room and Julian heard her feet pound painfully slow up the stairs.

  He sat back down and exhaled until he was lightheaded. His elbows rested on the table and his hands cupping his face. His head hurt almost as much as his heart. He’d spent his whole adult life and most of his childhood as an emotionless prick. He’d broken women’s hearts every day of his life. And for the most part, he really didn’t give a shit. He’d convinced himself it was all just a big game and he’d always come out the winner. Sex and love were two different things, was his mantra. And for a long time, he believed in it. As long as he fucked his way around Dublin then love would never catch him, and if he never fell in love, he’d never feel pain like he did as a child again. Sex was his medicine and, once he never mixed it with emotion, he’d be cured. But he knew that just wasn’t true.

  Life wasn’t a game, no matter how good he was at convincing everyone otherwise. And even if it was, there would always be someone who would break the rules. Eva broke every rule he had. He’d worked hard to set up the elaborate game for her; the ball, the masks, the one girl for the year, the test to be his plaything. She hadn’t just passed, she’d turned the tables. He’d known from the very moment Eva walked into his office that he’d already lost and she’d already won. He loved her from that very second. She could have written in any rules she liked
and he still would have played. The game was designed to help her find herself and make her stronger. And it did. But it also caused the one thing he never wanted to happen. He was head over heels in love with her. He had to see her. No matter how much he believed it was the wrong thing to do or how much he knew it would mess with both their heads. Mia was right. He. Had. To. See. Eva.

  Chapter 15

  Eva’s phone vibrated in her coat pocket. It was begging for her attention non-stop for the last couple of hours, but she didn’t want to talk to anyone. She’d gotten off the bus on a street she didn’t know simply because she couldn’t sit still any longer. It was getting dark and it was positively freezing. She eyed up a small, rundown, corner pub desperate for the heat of indoors.

  Eva ordered a drink, found a dark, corner booth and slid behind the table. She chased the lemon around the glass with a swizzle stick and stared into space. She’d read the medical pamphlet from cover to cover a couple of times on the bus and now the words were written across her mind when she closed her eyes.

  Eva opened her eyes after a long time, feeling a shadow leaning over her.

  ‘Whoever he is, he’s not worth your tears,’ a tall, broad and slightly scruffy around the edges guy said. ‘Can I get you another?’ His eyes dropped to the glass Eva hadn’t noticed she’d drained.

  ‘You know what they say?’ he asked.

  Eva shook her head.

  ‘There’s plenty more fish in the sea. A beautiful girl like you won’t have any problem going fishing. Whoever he is, get another drink in you and forget about him.’

  ‘He’s my boyfriend…or, kind of is, and I think he might be dying but he’s too scared to tell me.’

  ‘Oh sweet Jesus, love. I had no idea. The next one is on the house, okay.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  Eva didn’t know why she had just told the barman her sob story. It wasn’t like her. But sitting here, in a place she didn’t know, drinking hot whiskey wasn’t like her either. But maybe it was finally time she changed. Julian had saved her. Saved her whole family. Now he needed saving. She wasn’t going to let his stubborn ass push her away. She had to figure this all out.